27 - Conflict Resolution
Conflict – Thwarting another person’s wants, needs or goals
Sources of Conflict
Frustration over:Limited resources
Loss of control
Unmet needs or desires
Expectations don’t meet reality
Individual / cultural differences
Differences in defining your relationship
Tools for effectively handling conflict
Effective CommunicationActive Listening
Avoid statements with:“it”
Use statements with:“I”
Approaches to Conflict
Nonassertive or Avoiding – Inability or unwillingness to express thoughts or feelings in a conflict.
Direct Aggression – expressing criticism or demand that threatens another.
Passive Aggression – expressing hostility in an obscure way. Recipient confused.
Indirect Communication – conveys message in a round about manner to save “face” with recipient. Not hostile. Sometimes takes the form of sarcasm.
Assertion – expresses needs, thoughts, feelings, clearly without judging or dictating. Focuses on others.
Collaborating – highly assertive and cooperative, win-win
Compromising – moderately assertive and cooperative, (many believe this to be best style – false!) both still give up something. lose-lose
Competing – assertive and uncooperative, win-lose
Accommodating – unassertive and uncooperative, lose-lose
Tips for Resolving Conflicts
Respect different views
Incorporate opposing viewpoints
Focus on facts; not personality
Use “I/We” language
Show concern for others
Level the playing field – remove levels of authority or power
Praise when possible
Agree to differ
Encourage involvement in process
Win–Win Conflict Strategy (John Dewey)
Define the Conflict
Analyze the Problem
Establish Criteria for a Solution
Communicate cooperative intentionsIdentify needs; express concerns
Decide on a solution
Implement the solution
Follow up on the solution